Confidence by definition; the state of feeling certain about the truth of something.
That feeling you get in your gut and it sits there, it sinks, it fills you up, your face gets flushed, and your hands sweat. Yes, that is what happens to me when I lack confidence. Whether or not I know my material, or feel I have done enough, or I have done it a million times it still happens.
It happened the other day, I was teaching at a festival, and the thought was “What if no-one shows?” I immediately went into some story about what I will do, will it matter? No one likes me, and then I said if no-one shows, it is ok, if 1 person shows that will be 1 person I supported and held space for, but the thing about confidence is that it comes and goes, we are not always in “confidence”.
We may have started our period and feel emotional, unbalanced, and moody. Our best friend may have not showed up or forgot to call, our boyfriend or significant other may have said something that we did not like, Confidence comes and goes through out our entire life.
By definition confidence is a feeling of being certain about something, TRUTH. Well our truth changes daily, or minute by minute especially when we are teens. Which by the way is OK!
Confidence is sticky too, because how many times do we see people and go OMG, that person is so confident, and feels super good about themselves and then you speak to them and you realize OMG, they are just as insecure as I am and now I feel so much better about myself. Which by the way is OK, too!
So here is the deal Confidence is Elusive. Elusive; difficult to find, catch, or achieve. It is like a muscle that you have to use over and over again to strengthen it, and it takes time, it does not happen over night. We all have our strengths and weaknesses, and our insecurities that show up in the worst possible moments. That is OK!
Here are a few things I do to build my confidence and work it to…
- Breath- always first breath. There is a pause from breath to response. That means response to yourself too. Take 5 breaths.
- Tribe- our tribe is so important. It does not matter the amount of people in your tribe but have a tribe, a group or 1 or more women or young girls that love you, that SEE you, your beauty, passion, love, kindness, awesomeness. Tribes give us purpose for the greater good, to do more than just for yourself, they support our confidence. We are better in numbers and women and girls do better and feel better when they have their TRIBE. Find your tribe if you have not yet.
- Move- Movement is so important for our mental health. It does not matter the movement, just MOVE. Your body is getting oxygen when it moves, you are allowing your body to breath and rid itself of anything sticky in the joints or muscles, it supports your brain to clear anything that does not serve you. Sometimes those are OUR THOUGHTS. They do NOT always serve YOU!
- Homework- If its an actual thing you don’t feel confident about, then do your work behind it, Study, read, follow-up. No the material. You will know what you are talking about, and the rest will fall into place.
You will have days when you feel good, and days that you question everything you do. Maybe even days you do not care. It is all totally OK!
Each day is opportunity to grow, change, feel and expand. Ask for what you want, and do not be afraid to say; I am scared, I feel yucky, I do not feel I can do this… Say your feelings and allow the feelings to come and go, but doing it, showing up is where the confidence happens and grows.
YOU GOT THIS GIRL….
Love, Jennifer; founder of Teen Yoga Box